I wrote a song for my second album called Changes. It was a very personal song for me as it depicted my bout with depression (that I ultimately won!) after I had my first child. I had always heard of postpartum depression, but I never knew the extent of its impact on a person. It baffled me completely. It left me shell-shocked almost to no end and I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alone in my entire life than I did during this season. Here I was looking, holding and caring for the most beautiful baby I had ever laid eyes on and I became a momma bear in one split second and yet, I couldn’t hardly deal with anything that was coming my way when it came to mothering.
I wasn’t alone pre say during this time as I was surrounded by a fantastic husband, great mom, wonderful friends and a loving church family, but nobody really knew my struggle. I have always been a happy go lucky person who is hyper, very hyper, smiling, just full of energy and life. So because I knew that’s what people expected and I truly WANTED to be that person again, I did my best to hide the pain. Fifteen months went by before I went to the doctor and sought the help I so desperately needed. He was upset I had waited so long to seek help, but as a Christian I felt that the only help that I needed or I SHOULD seek was Jesus. Thankfully my doctor was a Christian and he understood my dilemma and gave me the guidance that worked for me. I will be forever grateful for his support, guidance and understanding.
This is the chorus of Changes:
There’s a change all around me
I can feel the wind blowing in another change for me
I don’t get worried when it all looks brand new
Because in my life, my change is You
You might be in a place where changes are everywhere. You feel like change is coming at you from every angle. Everything you used to know is shifting, moving around and literally changing on every front.
It’s so easy to get scared of change. Change challenges us, moves us, motivates us and scares us, just to name a few. I’ve heard all my life that change doesn’t have to be bad. I still believe that. Does change get harder the older you get? I believe it can because now we have knowledge of what will happen when the change comes. We have an experience with change. We know what the change will bring to our lives, our homes, our jobs, everything that we know. We now know change will change everything.
Can I encourage you today my friend that if you feel a change coming, seek Him! Trust that while the change may change everything, this change is for your good. Trust the maker of this change. Trust the voice of your Master during this change, follow His leading, seek His guidance. He will not and cannot lead you astray.
If the change is too much emotionally or mentally, please seek guidance and help. Let them help you walk through the change. You are not in this alone. You do not have to face anything by yourself. If your ministry is changing, know that there are several people whom God has laid your name on their heart and they are praying for you. If your family dynamic is changing, trust that God knows the specifics of that and He will navigate you through it. If your job situation is changing, know that He has a plan to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future. If your health situation is changing, I do not believe for one moment that God brought this sickness upon you one bit, but I do believe that He is the healer and He is the finisher of your faith and this did not catch Him by surprise! He is with you and faithful to you! You are not alone. Change comes to us all.
Don’t get worried when it all looks brand new, because in our lives Lord, we know that our change is You! You change us. That’s how we can get through the change is that You ultimately change us. We can see it from a new perspective, from a new point of view. So just remind us Lord that You are with us through every change and You are the one that is writing our story and these changes only make for new chapters!
Keep your head up, you can make it my friend!